Walk Alone

By almost every measure, Craig Johnston was an average soccer player growing up in Newcastle, NSW.

But at the tender age of fifteen, he laid his dream out on the kitchen table and bluntly told his parents…

“I want to leave school, go to England, and become a professional soccer player.”

His parents couldn’t afford the plane ticket so they sold their house and downgraded to a smaller one and bought him a one-way ticket to England.

When Johnston arrived, he made a beeline for his first trial game in Middlesborough where the legendary soccer coach Jack Charlton, said, “you’re the worst player I’ve ever seen”.

Craig was shattered.

He packed his bags, walked out of the change rooms, and burst into tears.

That night he made a reverse charge call home and told his parents he met the great, Jack Charlton, who told him, “…you’re one of the best players I’ve had ever seen”.

He didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth. Not only that, he couldn’t afford a plane ticket home.

Shortly afterwards, he met another team manager and explained his predicament – no team, no money and nowhere safe to stay.

The manager found a coal shed near a car park that was warm and safe enough for the young man to live in. No phone, no internet, no flat mates. Just the bare essentials.

But Johnston loved it! It sharpened his focus.

Each morning in the freezing cold, he washed cars in the nearby car park for some money and then spent six hours a day kicking a tennis ball with both feet up against a brick wall, practicing different drills.

It was akin to Sir Don Bradman hitting a golf ball up against a corrugated iron water tank with a cricket stump.

But he didn’t stop there, he also put lead in his boots while he trained to strengthen his legs.

Johnston practiced by himself for the next eighteen months before another club was willing to trial him.

And he aced it!

By the time he turned eighteen he was the highest paid soccer player in British football history. Three years after he left home.

Not bad hey!

So here’s my first question…

Was it right of Craig Johnston’s parents to let their son go to England by himself at the age of fifteen to live out his dream?

Remember, he was nothing special as a player. But he had self-belief and so did his parents.

Now here’s my second question…

Did you notice how I just asked you to comment on another parent?

It’s something I see a lot. Parents judging parents, especially themselves.

Meaning, they feel less of themselves if they haven’t done more for their children.

A good example is mum and dad loans. Parents often ask me, ‘good or bad’?

Here’s what I really think. Why do you feel the need to gift your children money?

Is it out of love, fear, shame, or guilt?

i.e. is your motive genuine love, fear your children won’t make it on their own, guilt that you could have been a better parent, or shame/disappointment/jealousy that your kids aren’t doing as well as someone else’s?

The truth is…and you may not like it…we are generous for selfish reasons.

It makes us feel good.

So before you gift, ask yourself if your motive is more about you or your child?

If your motive is about you feeling better (out of fear, guilt, or shame), chances are it won’t change a thing.

It may be best to let your child walk alone.

Have a great weekend!

Adam

Back paddock – if you like biographies, I cannot recommend ‘Walk Alone’ highly enough. It’s a brilliant read, written by Craig Johnston with Neil Jameson.