Jack and Diane have been married for forty-three years.
Diane works three days a week in a local business because she enjoys the chat.
Her days off are spent spoiling grandkids, doing lunches, pilates, and stuff around the house.
Jack retired about six years ago to get a hip replacement and Diane reckons it was the biggest mistake of his life.
He was a ‘chippy’ by trade but spent the last thirty-six years managing a hardware store.
The job was so him.
He knew exactly what the older builders wanted and what the younger builders needed, and they loved him for it.
The problem was, Jack underestimated how much his job fed his soul. It gave him purpose and a huge social network.
After he got fitted with a new hip, he took six months off (in retirement!) and did nothing.
Sadly, to help justify doing nothing, he joined the most dangerous club of all…
The, “I’ve done my bit” club.
Jack’s six months of doing nothing slowly morphed into a habit and he stayed there, eventually doing less every week.
He started getting up late, spending more time in his PJ’s, and had zero ambition.
His days consisted of eating, sleeping, watching TV and boring Dianne with mind-numbing conversation.
Worst of all, he started invading Diane’s space around the house and it drove her nuts!
Eventually his mental state declined and his desire to do stuff fell away.
He now has diabetes, depression, and moves like an old man with a stooped back and a short gait.
Jack did what a lot of retired men do…
He went from being a steering wheel at work to being a spare tyre at home.
In my opinion, Jack made one fatal mistake. He assumed a retirement plan was a financial one.
He made no plans to fill the void that was once his job and his life became meaningless.
Not surprisingly, Diane often wonders what happened to their retirement plans of doing stuff together, rather than just living together.
And I often wonder how many of those builders would love to hear his voice again in the shop, even just one day a week.
There’s also the knock-on effects too. His situation has created tension in the family, the kids are sympathetic towards Diane and frustrated with Jack because she’s paying the price.
Some blokes are not going to like this but I reckon there are two things all men should do before they retire:
Firstly, have at least three lunches with blokes who’ve already pulled up stumps to get an idea of how boring some of their lives are. It’s harsh but true.
Secondly, have a year off (funded out of super) before making a decision to retire permanently.
When you’re green you grow, and when you’re ripe you rot.
Have a great weekend!
Adam
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