I’m Not A Nark

Sometimes it’s hard to bite your tongue.

Like a few weeks ago, a couple were referred to me by their accountant.

Late forties, three kids, mortgage paid off, with some spare cash ‘swashing’ around.

She was lovely, but he had a real swagger in his voice.

To avoid any assumptions, I asked why their accountant sent them over.

And he came flying out of the blocks…

“Mate, I’m tired of pussyfooting around, but me missus here is super conservative.”

Ouch!

The mood changed immediately.

She’d folded her arms, pursed her lips, gave him the death stare he deserved and then shot back…

“I’m not a nark!” she barked in her defence.

He then rolled his eyes and dismissed her completely.

Ouch x 2!

It was time to jump in.

“What are your biggest concerns?” I asked her.

“He’s always talking about what his mates are investing in, wishing were doing the same thing. The problem is it involves borrowing heaps of money and it’s stuff I don’t understand. It frightens the hell out of me!”

The conversation continued along this vein for another twenty minutes or so. It got a little more heated but all she wanted was the chance to vent some very valid concerns.

Then they looked at me with the most fatal question of all…

“So who’s right?!”

“Do you really want to know?

“YES!!” they chorused.

“You both are.”

They were shocked. Here’s why.

Most blokes are more interested in growing their money, while their partners are only concerned about two things:

1. How much do we need for a comfortable retirement?
2. Do we have enough?

I.e. women usually value security before growth.

Therefore, if his ‘growth’ plans threaten her ‘security’, it will end up in conflict.

Every. Single. Time.

From my experience, a good business partnership consists of two parts. A microscope and a telescope.

The female energy is usually the microscope (security), and the male energy the telescope (growth). Both are great but a microscope is a must.

Here’s another truth about money.

No one wants to be lied to but not everyone wants to hear the truth. Which is why it’s so hard for some (most) blokes to stick their egos in their back pocket and just listen.

Money is about emotions first, numbers second.

End of swagger.

Have a great weekend!

Adam